Dialectic

Luminous steely thread pulled longer ever tighter from womb to teen
Children pull away into their possibility by comparing me to freedom

The loneliness of a cell phone
The solitude of finding the right study desk deep within the library stacks

Time to look elsewhere;
Towards my own center of gravity,
Who do I comfort now?
What problems do I solve?
Where do I sit?

Why keep playing when someone gets hurt in every game?
Concussion
Consciousness
Consent
Contempt
Concise
Concrete
Confusion
Controversy

Heartache is a dictionary –
Each word a sling shot through learning something
wildly new and surprising
the hard way
and not in precise alphabetical order

There are no regrets for wearing the jersey of evolution
But I didn’t get the rules in time to make an informed decision

Now, grief and joy are in the ring daily
Opposing forces of love’s two sided tyranny

The breaks come with pen in hand and at the halfway point of an embrace Just long enough to keep me hooked

somewhere in the middle. 

 

#nitaswords

Tormentone

The crawling itch of mosquito hunger
Nagging waves
Relentless beauty of sunset and moonrise
Hot wind
Figs that must be eaten

My mother mind
Aware of duty dishes
Unbrushed teeth
And comparisons

Post-menopausal weight
Aching in my heels and rock crushed toes
An aging body in an old country

This summer’s song not so different from last year’s
Legacy
Heritage
Genetics
Ownership
Group-think
Responsibility

Inserting myself without the language or the right shoes

For the view
For an international perspective
For the children

The rhythm of the tormentone carries a melody of tradition and safety

Generational repetition

While my body erodes from
Sugar
Alcohol
Arguments
Expectation
Sitting for the screen 

Barely breathing dehydrated strays beg for anything they can get – a look, a ball, a bite
like the crispy shrunken pomegranate and fichi d’india cactus flesh

The resistance to death is everything

My privileged guilt – twisted Roma thread on my wrist, a steal at 1 euro  – a reminder that I “have it all.”
Home
Children
Job
Limbs and mind
A dog

Luck has given me the time to torment…

Until Aperol Spritz ice melts. 

#nitaswords