My work Maternal Identity is reflective of my process in understanding my identity as an adopted child. After years of accepting that I may never know much about my biological parents, a DNA test revealed and connected me to them. (That’s a whole other story.) For the last two years I have been processing through ideas about being found and being lost, where my place is, the what-ifs and all this in connection with my changing roles in our family structure. This work focuses on my Maternal Identity and the roles of both mothers creating a dual identity in me. As I searched for my placement in this identity, I put myself in the center of the image as child gazing out at the world and confronting the possibilities of my future. The Madonna-like face represents the divinity I hold for motherhood and all its sacrifices, the richness of the experiences, and even some expectations I held for myself as a mother. The face on the right is another portrait of myself contemplating my role as mother and role model, what I have experienced and how that role has changed.

The halos, some in gold leaf, are in various shades and textures of sheen, the brightest is on the girl in the middle full of hope and possibility. The Madonna’s halo is a little tarnished and showing some wear and denotes the imperfections of all mothers as we struggle with the realities of motherhood. The halo on the image far right is only painted on, symbolic of awaiting judgement of my role.

The ambiguous images in the top far right corner represent my biological mother and the lack of her presence in my upbringing, the loss of connection to the family I would never know, until recently.

Stained glass patterns and light mimic the background of a family snap shot I used in my process drawings. It is included in both the Maternal Identity and Paternal Identity paintings. This painting was more of my daily reality and interaction with my adoptive mother as a child and now as an adult. And like most relationships it is a complicated one.

    

Process Studies- 8″x 8″